I have been thinking about the constant demands to adapt to a neuro-normative culture and be the autistics others would like us to be.
There’s usually a snag.
Being autistic – being diagnosed late in life – is a process (of) unbecoming.
I can’t do what I can’t do, and I can’t be what I can’t be.
Not ‘neurotypical’ with quirks –
I really am autistic.
I’m just not the autistic you want me to be.
Ah yes, and so it is.
Autism is as real as concrete or snow (except it doesn’t melt).
But you need us to fit in to your ways.
Got it. Ah yes. I got it.
I caught it, and caught on.
I’m suppose to be this, that and the other. All things, in fact.
All things except the one thing I am.
This autism is not convenient.
Not at all.
With regrets and adieus.
This is the wrong autism!
Just the wrong kind.
Okay?
The other side 
I feel your frustration, because you were diagnosed late in life, there must be a lot of people who believe, that you’re making your symptoms up, which makes it even harder, for you to cope…
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TYSM 🙂
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You just be who God created you to be. ❤
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TY! 🙂
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Being diagnosed later in life and having to exist in an earlier era and survive we would have to have an epoch relevant expression of our autism .
One which doesn’t necessarily gell with that expressed by a younger generation having the advantage of neurological awareness of difference.
I feel like I exist in the twilight zone.
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Love your post. I’ve been autistic for 73 years – long, long before someone came up with a handy label to paste on me. I like being just exactly how I am, whether others think I “fit in” or not!
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AND, you are loved,Amiga!
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“Unbecoming” is a wonderful word! It’s like a little code: it doesn’t say too much, but those of us who have lived it can understand.
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