Perfect storm. #autism

 

The context for my poem Perfect storm is the research for my Arts Council Funded project – The Museum for Object Research. It isn’t about any one person or conversation, but more about my growing understanding of the ways in which I am disabled – despite being a competent human – by ingrained assumption and the double empathy bind.

This learning is born of multiple conversations within lived experience.

Predominant neurotypes (PNT) find it difficult to relate to and engage with autistic experience, and vice versa.

It’s becoming clearer to me – the more I dig in – that each and every autistic ‘deficit’, contained within both medical models and cultural stereotypes, can indeed be applied to PNT when viewed from an autistic perspective.

A mirror world exists in which PNT are disabled, and the only difference between us is that of privilege – via cultural dominance/numbers.

This kind of thinking is real. It’s foundation is (as I say above) a lived experience, which finds a powerful echo in the social model of disability.

I’m grateful to Jon Adams and Brent White for their wisdom and council in guiding me towards the clear understanding of the human rights issues at the core of my cultural project.

My thoughts about autism are community inclusive but relate only to personal experience.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

Dawn brings the perfect storm.

And skylights catch droplets in rapid succession.

Yet I am deaf to their timpani.

 

Undoing the stitches of my carefully fashioned…

…tailoring…

I have spoken for the first time of my disability.

 

A  pointed conversation.

 

But what of…

…my ‘intelligence.’

Yes! I say (quite shamelessly).

 

I do have one.

And degrees and so forth.

(Despite scoring zero for I.Q.*)

And, what is more,

I  often soar above you.

 

(The aerial view is our prerogative.

Including the ‘voiceless’ and the more visibly NEEDY.

Sharing a something you can’t reach.

Ah yes – a club of sorts.

Seemingly without a fee.)

 

And perhaps this difference.

Well. It’s irrefutably so.

Is. Also. Your. Disability.

 

The places you can’t go.

 

I am disabled.

DIS-ABLED.

But by what?

And by whom?

 

And.

What (I ask myself).

Does.

My.

Disability.

Mean.

For.

You.

 

Well…

Perhaps.

And. Most certainly.

I can read it.

In the symbiosis of our smiles.

 

And we can act like kittens.

Playing with string.

Until it’s time.

To bring the dead bird in.

 

A trophy to trying.

A cup to greet the day.

 

* My cognitive profile is not measurable as an IQ score.

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Published by soniaboue

I am an artist.

20 thoughts on “Perfect storm. #autism

  1. Being autistic merely means that you have a different way of interpreting, interacting, responding to the various external stimuli in the world, and we ALL experience the world differently compared to one another, there’s nothing wrong with that, and autism is nothing more than a label that’s given to someone who doesn’t connect and respond, or socialize the same way as the majority of population…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A Truly Wonderful Poem!! – I also greatly admire you and fully encourage and say to you —- KEEP WRITING!! This is Brilliant.

    In short – I have been working in a community service model for the majority of my working life — and, while juggling my own mental health – I find more reassurances, abilities and kindness, working with real people. Real people, are the ones unafraid to speak – especially the ones who are branded by a societal context and design – which is-only creating—and enhancing the longstanding existence of – labels.

    These labels, are often only PINNED on REAL PEOPLE, because, true hearts, talented artists and truth, is the core of being alive, striving, not just surviving. BEING.—-. Of which a label does not fit.

    A heart burns and creates. A label – only puts one in a box.

    I love what you are writing!!

    ROCK ON!!

    Jaymz. (Shamanic Mechanics).

    HTTPS//:jmzhaw.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My cognitive profile also can’t be expressed by a single IQ score. That was one of the things that amused me when I was getting my results and which I shared last year. “Technically, I don’t have an IQ!” I still chuckle at it. Not sure exactly why I find it so amusing, but I do.

    Liked by 2 people

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