A brain aches.
But this we know. You and I are different.
We look the same.
And it’s a now you see me, and now you don’t.
Because I am fluent in passing.
This is my great skill. I look like you. I sound like you.
And when I am tired there is an introvert model – on social mode – which dies inside to flick the switch.
Ridiculously, I walk home quite earnestly desirous of an extra leg sprouting from the top of my head. So that you might see me and know my difference without ingrained assumption.
You tie me in knots with your privilege, because that’s invisible too.
And I long to draw it, that leg. Momentarily, I check my privilege – oozing and sticky as a bag of ripening plums – but who can I offend with such a limb?! No-one. No. I’ll shelter in the bosom of that absurdity.
For each time you tell me it will be alright you deny my struggle.
Alright sounds like hammer.
Which. Pushes. Me. Down.
Alright is a privilege.
Deciding not to get stressed is a privilege.
And just so you know.
Every day is a soft clothes day.
🙂
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Exquisite phrasing, such vivid imagery; a joy to read. And how uncanny that we should both write of passing
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(Oops – hit send accidentally)
.. around the anniversary of our first meeting where we were able to dispense with such pretence. xx
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Amazing! I loved your post which I read somewhere but EF fail to respond. Yours is a brilliant post and much needed to explain. This post was a way of trying to clarify for myself and resolve the issues in my own mind – as poetry so often is for me. TYSM for reading and commenting – will make sure to go back and like your post too!! xx
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So much beauty in the truth ❤ Thank you dear autsister xo
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xxx!!
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Another beautiful post! Thank you for being you!
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Thanks for helping me expand my understanding of you and autism. Soft hugs, Brad
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I feel every word of this, thanks for giving this expression.
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Nice. That’s how it is. They don’t know and do not want to know. You captured it.
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Oh, my! Indeed I cannot see the difference outside. Thank you for you handle pain in such a shifting mode, may you have always the courage to endure passively. Serenity in all you do. Love your poetry!
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I just read it this morning. It prompted a twitter thread. Thanks so much for the poem. https://twitter.com/tmorizot/status/924619372047552512
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Thank you! I saw it and responded. It was very moving to see how this poem resonated with you.
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Great words thanks for sharing
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